Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
