I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I can text with my tongue
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
