Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize