so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
