Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
