What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
