Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
