She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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