false alarm. still invincible.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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