she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
