i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
