garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
