Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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