i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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