I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
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