I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
