It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Sorry my hands just texted you
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
