Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
