I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
