he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
