and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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