I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
