guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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