I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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