yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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