girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
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Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.