You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are