I think this conversation is over.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.