All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.