I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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