There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
