I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
