Are we in a gay sports bar?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
