:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
