I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
