there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
