Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
