You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize