Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
