I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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