I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Success! We fucked roommates!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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