My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
