Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
