It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
