there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
