He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
