Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
