all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
