i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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