you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
