why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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