I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
