what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
