okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
