Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
