Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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