My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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