I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
