Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
