I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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