I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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