what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
