i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
