He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
