this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
