i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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