Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
