forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
i think my cat just said my name.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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