if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
